(credit in photo link)
Near a lake in the middle of the woods, a man lived with his three sons. One night, a great storm came, tearing apart their home. The old man died and the three sons were forced to leave their home. After traveling for nearly an entire week, the three boys found themselves a new home.
The first night in the home they were able to procure, the oldest son dreamed of his father. The second night, it was the second son who dreamed of his father. On the third night, the youngest son dreamed of his father. So the cycle repeated until one day, the middle son mentioned his dreams to his brothers. Realizing they were all having the same dream, the three boys decided to break the cycle by having the oldest brother stay awake all night on the night he was supposed to dream of his father.
As the hour struck midnight and the oldest brother could feel the pull of sleep, the middle brother began to shriek, fear clear though he was locked into a deep sleep. Though the oldest brother tried to wake him, it was to no avail and the middle brother died by the morning light.
Terrified, the other brothers slept the next night, but no dreams came. The following night, the youngest brother again dreamed of his father, though the dreams had changed and the youngest boy could not remember his dreams the next morning.
The following night, the oldest son dreamed of his father as well but the dreams turned dark. His father was angry in his dreams and when morning came, the oldest brother did not wake. With only himself left, the youngest son left the town he and his brothers had settled in and headed back towards the home he had grown up in.
Unable to find even the remains of what had been his home, the youngest son found himself somewhere else entirely. It was here where he settled and took a wife, who bore three sons. A storm came shortly after this and the youngest son was killed in much the same manner as his father. Also like his father, the youngest son continues to visit his children in their dreams.
So! Maria attempts to write something creepy and completely...fails. That was much more difficult than I expected, and I had expected it to be difficult. I'm glad I attempted something new but I think I'll stick a little closer to my comfort zone from now on because writing that was like pulling my own teeth out. It's definitely probably really not going into my portfolio. As for the title, it's the Russian word for 'Father'. 'Cause, you know...Russian folktales are what I used for 'inspiration' this week and the story is about...yeah. Super creative, huh? No? Okay.
Hi, Maria!
ReplyDeleteI actually really liked that you used the Russian word for father as the title. I definitely thought it was creative, so don’t disparage! Writing creepy, haunting stories can definitely be tricky, so don’t feel bad! I don’t think you missed the mark—dying after dreaming of your father is pretty creepy in itself. Stylistically, I wasn’t sure if you meant to have the last two paragraphs red (I’m assuming you did), and that was slightly confusing to me but no big deal.
Hey, Maria!
ReplyDeleteYou're too hard on yourself! This was a great story. It's awesome that you tried something outside of your comfort zone. Only then can we learn how to get better at our writing in different styles. This class really helps with that. I really enjoyed your story and I especially like the photo you chose to go along with it. It set the scene and was a great addition to your words. Great job!!
Maria,
ReplyDeleteThe use of the Russian word for the title was great! I was wondering what that was when I clicked on it and now it all makes sense. You didn't fail this week. I tired to write a mystery this week and that didn't go so well either. I know how you are feeling. At least you tired. It was a little hard for me to read the tiny text but other than that it was great! Good job!
Kudos for trying something new Maria. Its hard to stop outside of our comfort zone but I think it's one of the best ways to grow. You can learn a lot about yourself. I think that adding a few details about how the events made each brother feel would add a lot to the story, Also naming the brothers would be very helpful. When it got to the end, I wasn't sure if it was the youngest son from the 2nd or 3rd generation that had died. Keep trying new things. This story has a lot of potential. Maybe add a reason for the father to haunt the sons.
ReplyDelete